


Similar, Different

by Awesome_Sauce432



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, It's Yasha and Caduceus chilling out on the grass at the bottom of the big tree, Look there are some similarities between Cad and Molly, Molly is mentioned, Yasha gets Deep(TM) for a second and thinks about destiny and fate and such
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-31 00:31:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19038697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awesome_Sauce432/pseuds/Awesome_Sauce432
Summary: Yasha and Caduceus are chilling at the bottom of the giant tree. Yasha enjoys the peace and quiet but in the face of the remnant of a goddess, her thoughts wander to her own relationship with gods, fate, destiny and her friends.





	Similar, Different

**Author's Note:**

> okay this ended up taking a turn i didn't expect but yasha and cad are just rly cute friends ok

Yasha definitely could have climbed the tree if she’d really wanted to. Caduceus probably could as well, somehow. He wasn’t particularly strong, but Yasha knew he was full of surprises, so he surely would be able to find a way to climb this massive, ridiculously massive tree.

 

But after seeing Jester fall, Fjord dive after her and the both of them teleporting and climbing their way up to the top, Yasha wasn’t particularly inclined to risk it when Caleb and Nott had spirited themselves away to the top as well, taking their safety net of a featherfall spell with them.

 

So Yasha and Caduceus remained at the bottom of the tree, sitting cross-legged on the grass, waiting for their friends to return or something else interesting to happen.

 

They’d been waiting for half an hour now, and neither had occurred. Caduceus was weaving blades of straw together in a bowl shape, seeming not at all concerned for what the others might be doing.

 

He hardly seemed concerned at all, in fact, his face even more serene than usual, his ears drooping low when usually they were at least a little alert, never letting anything around them slip from his knowledge. He’d seemed particularly peaceful since the previous night, and Yasha wondered if being around the tree was the reason why. Apparently it was some remnant of the Wildmother, or something like that.

 

Caduceus always seemed to draw comfort from the presence of his god, a confirmation of his faith and path, a reaffirmation of his choices. Yasha rarely felt the same way after encounters with her god.

 

More often than not, every time the Stormlord interacted with her she just came away more confused than ever. There would be moments of confidence with him sometimes, his apparent trust in her strength and ability to do what he wanted her to do — whatever that was — but usually… usually Yasha just felt cold from rain. It was hard to describe what she felt beyond that, because she didn’t know herself.

 

Then again, Caduceus didn’t seem to know what he was supposed to do either. He had a vague idea, a small sense of direction and purpose, but in all his talks of destiny and fate he rarely elaborated on _what_ exactly he thought that was for him. But somehow he was able to draw peace from that uncertainty, and Yasha wished she could do that same. If there was a path for her to be on that led her to happiness, that would be nice.

 

If there ever had been such a path, she was pretty sure she’d jumped the rails of it long ago, with no chance of ever finding it again.

 

Yasha looked up to the tree again. She couldn’t see a sign of any of her friends, not even Caleb-The-Giant-Eagle flying about with Nott gripped carefully in his talons. She supposed that the lack of explosions, fires or screams was a good sign.

 

Looking back down, she ran her fingers through the grass. It was soft and vibrant, so different to the dead clumps that it had been just the previous night. Yasha had never seen grass like this in Xhorhas before.

 

It reminded her of the fields the circus would sometimes stop at. It was often longer in the Empire, tickling at her ankles and scratching at her fingers when she sat down. Molly liked to walk through those fields, often coming away with a lost coin and small trinket that someone had lost there, brandishing it proudly to her before tucking it away in one of his many pockets.

 

Those same trinkets and coins often found their ways into the hand of a child a few towns over, accompanied with a grand tale of magic and mystery that surrounded it, each silky smooth word making the child’s eyes light up in wonder, clutching onto it tight with the promise of a treasure they would hold dear for years to come.

 

It was all a lie, sure. But they had been harmless ones, ones that brought joy and laughter, ones that had made Molly smile and brought more curious families to their circus tent.

 

A soft smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she thought about it, remembering Molly’s smile and the gasps of delight from children as he wove his stories, each more fantastical than the last. Molly’s memory was no longer as sharp as it had been, his life not tainted so much with the knowledge of his death.

 

It still undoubtedly hurt, and Yasha knew she’d never be able to forget the moment she’d woken up only to discover that her best friend had died and been buried while she’d been _gone_ , but she could smile when thinking of him now, and she supposed that was progress.

 

Caduceus hummed to himself, holding his creation up in the air a little bit, examining it. Yasha hadn’t known what to think of Caduceus at first. She’d seen him for maybe a second when she first woke up, before the realisation of Molly’s death and the rage and grief had consumed her. When she’d encountered him again with the others in Nicodranas, a fully-fledged member of their party, standing not in the same spot that Molly once stood, but somewhere close to it, all she could think about was what she’d lost.

 

But as time went on, it soon became clear that Caduceus was far from a replacement of Molly. Caduceus was strange and quiet and peaceful. Some would probably say there was nothing similar between the two, but as months wore on and Yasha spent more time with him, shared a room with him, rode on the same moorbounder, she couldn’t stop herself from seeing the similarities.

 

For starters, they were both utterly self-assured in themselves. They seemed to know who they were and they were proud of it, weren’t afraid to flaunt it even if they went about it in completely different ways. Both could be surprisingly judgemental even as they were accepting of their friends flaws, both inclined to let the others ignore their advice and make their own mistakes, picking them up at the end with an ‘I told you so’ and a wink or plate of breakfast.

 

Molly’s love had been so loud and bright, full of hugs and gifted trinkets and nicknames and the willingness to travel to the ends of the world to save her even if it got him killed.

 

Caduceus’ was far quieter but no less present, usually in the form of soft reassurances and cups of tea pressed into her hands after a long day, a certainty that eventually everything would balance out. All would be well eventually.

 

“Here.” Caduceus held out his creation to her, which she only now realised to be a straw hat, much like his own. It took a few moments before Yasha realised he meant to give it to her.

 

“Oh. This is for me?” She asked, and when Caduceus nodded, she took it from his hands, setting it on top of her head. It was large enough to sit comfortably over her hair without being too loose, and Caduceus nodded when it was settled, a satisfied smile on his face.

 

“Thank you.” Yasha ran her fingers along the edge of the hat. Her hat. It was a little rough, tiny fibres of straw sticking out, but it was hers and it was a gift from a friend.

 

“I think everyone should be able to have a nice hat.” Caduceus said, before looking up. “I wonder how much longer the others will be.”

 

“Do you think they’re alright?” Yasha asked.

 

Caduceus tilted his head lightly, considering the question. “I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough.”

 

It was uncertain, leaving plenty of room for doubt and stress and wondering if the others were truly okay. But somehow, uncertainty didn’t seem like a thing to be feared with Caduceus. He was almost certain about being uncertain, that he didn’t know quite what was going to happen next, but knew that the end result would be exactly what was designed, and he could roll with whatever happened in-between.

 

It was another way he had been both similar and different than Molly. No change could ever keep Molly down for long, no swerve could shock him forever. He didn’t believe in any destiny than the one he forged with his own bare hands, but who knew what that would end up looking like.

 

Yasha looked up at the tree, feeling a twinge of worry for her friends, but replaying Caduceus’ words in her head. They’d find out soon enough if they had anything to be truly worried about. Knowing the Mighty Nein, they probably did. But until then, until fate or the gods or someone’s foolish decision forced them onto whatever path appeared, she would just wait. She could enjoy some peace and quiet on the grass with her friend.


End file.
